Thursday, April 30

Rejection...

...Is bitter.
...Is disappointing.
I really thought it would turn out differently.
I thought I'd make it.
My coaches, a lot of my teachers, even some classmates- 
they don't know me at all.
But I'm to blame for that, of course.
I feel indignant, because I think I would do such a good job.
Or, at least, a better job than some of the girls
Who were chosen.
It's just annoying.
And I don't like to seem arrogant, or proud, or disrespectful.
Rejection...
Definitely did not improve my day.
It's okay, though. [and I believe everything happens for a reason.]
...

Tuesday, April 28

4/28/2009

and all-for-it attitude,
like staring someone right in the face,
like jumping straight into a rain puddle,
like a giant smile and rush of adrenaline,
like when you feel out of place,
but in the moment.

Sunday, April 26

Remember, forever.


Sean and I went to prom last night, and I had such a great time. Pictures, corsage & boutonniere, almost getting lost, limo ride (I fell...haha), more pictures, dinner, everything else!
I got home at like 1:30 this morning. 
And I love you, Sean.

Wednesday, April 22

PROM!!!!

How did you wake up this morning?
my alarm clock woke me up partially. but my dad had to yell at me, too.

Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
um, i got it as a birthday present. i think it's from kohl's?

Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
sometimes, not too much.

Do you hate anyone?
no. 

How is your hair right now?
messy and damp, i call it "natural"

When was the last time you cried?
saturday, but not really

Do you have a good relationship with your mother?
i'm going to steal the previous person's answer: "could be better"

Have you ever told someone you loved them?
yes, frequently. : ]

Do you tend to get in fights?
not at all

What's a lyric from a song you're listening to?
"when there's nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire." Haha

What does your last text message say?
"haha random"

How tall are you?
a little below average, i'd say.

What do you hear?
dishwasher. my music. my sister's voice.

Can you sleep in jeans?
yes.

Who last told you they loved you?
sean.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
ha, yesss.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
sometimes, it's conditional.

Are you a jealous person?
not really.

What are you going to do after this?
free rice!

What were you doing this morning at 7am?
rushing to yearbook.

Would you rather date someone 20 years younger than you or 20 years older?
ick. no thanks.

Are you ticklish?
a little bit. : }

Its 4 in the morning, and your phone rings...what do you do?
well, i probably won't be awake, my phone will probably be on silent, so nothing.

Your name:
sara louise cuellar eastwood

You have been making the world more amazing since:
1992

Oldest/​youngest/​or middle sibling:
oldest. 

Ever prank called the pizza place and ordered a pizza for somebody totally random?
haha, i've never even thought of doing that!

Who is your neighbor across the street?
there are three houses across the street from my house, it's kind of weird.
to the front, there's the Fishers. they have lots of kids, i think 5. then to the side, there's the Chavez's and a girl named Rachael and her mom. The Chavez's own the most annoying vehicle in the world. I hate it. Rachael goes to my school, but I never really talk to her. 

Name the band you are listening to now:
The Cure

On a boy: Skinny or Muscular?
slightly muscular. :)

Possible children's names?
what children?

Your nails are painted:
not at the moment.

How many pairs of sweatpants do you own?
many.

What were you doing this morning at 8am?
this question sounds familiar. oh well. i was at my locker.

Are you mad at anyone right now?
sort of. she's not a kind person. [hedieh...ahem..i can be mad at her for you.]

Last person to send you a text?
sean.

Do you have a crush on anyone?
well, i guess! but he loves me too. 

Have you been naked today?
in the shower.

Have you ever had sex in a public place?
um no.

How many different drinks have you had today?
soymilk, iced tea, water. 

Are you good at math?
i prefer to write.

Do you have plans on Saturday night?
PROM!!!!

Do you draw your name in the sand while your at the beach?
yes, actually.

Do you look like your mom or your dad?
more like my mom, but all my quirks are from my dad.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
definitely.

Do you like the ocean?
of course.

Where do you keep your change?
on a plate in my room, but it ends up scattered sometimes.

Who is the best person in your life?
there's not just one, there are many, and i'm so lucky.

Tuesday, April 21

The Layers

Waves and pleats,
And droplets and wisps,
And all your favourite words 
Stacked high
In perfect harmony.

Phrases so beautiful;
You want to steal them,
Make them your own,
And remember them always.
Your memory will fail.

When you're no longer there,
I'll be the waves in the fluidity,
Our lives will be the pleats across the spans of short time.
See the water and the clouds,
See the love and the heartbreak,

But you won't see me.

Monday, April 20

Lo que quiero. Lo que senti

Estoy tratando crear una entrada nueva en este blog mio, 
lo que puede descibir mis sentimientos exactamente. 
No es muy facil. 
Hay tres mas semanas de trabajo serio en escuela para mi, porque los examenes de A.P. seria muy pronto. Demasiado pronto, lo siento.
Soy muy perrezosa, pero me gusta divertirme. : ] 
Tambien conozco a personas increibles, mis amigos. La vida esta lleno de personas, cosas, eventos. 
[Se que no hablo (ni escribir!) espanol bueno. Yo se.)
Quiero escribir unas poemas, a libreta de poemas actualmente. "Writing in progress." Los poemas no sean totalmente verdaderos. 

Friday, April 17

my spring break went by way too fast.

I didn't even think I'd done that much, so I tried to remember highlights.
Where did my time go?
 
thursday:
went to my grandma's house.
coloured easter eggs with Natalie : ]
watched "Life Is Beautiful" with Carmen & Virginia
went to sean's house, dinner & movie & sitting by the fire. : ] : ] (double smiley)

(good) friday:
church, church, stations of the cross
lunch at Jardine's, a tradition
thrift store shopping in San Juan 

saturday:
set up garage sale in greenfield
packed up house, took a roll of film  (pictures!)
went to monterey, bought vintage postcards for $4
del monte...shopping.
and sleep.

(easter) sunday:
church
aunt julia, and her outing
family lunch at P.F Chang's 
grandma's house

monday:
college tour at Stanford (i'm in love)
shopping in Palo Alto
AP Bio homework...some

tuesday:
attempted to clean my room
got my prom dress altered.
mattresses ordered, done.
swim
i can't remember?

wednesday:
aquarium
lunch & walking down cannery row
swim
grace & adrianna's stories
lie, went to the movies 
(illegal?) late-night drive
no sleep. : ]

thursday:
wake up at nunez's, breakfast, & watched part of Wedding Date
got my ears pierced!
ortho appointment
swim
english homework

friday:
today i'm doing:
nothing.
homework?
pack for artemis
mix cd's
swim
double date. haha. : ] 
(so excited! ^^^)

saturday & sunday:
artemis. happy!
hopefully we'll get a lot of work done, and be efficient.

Thursday, April 16

french translations

eeeee!!!!!! 
i can understand french using Google! [i told you i'm resourceful]. 
i'm so excited for you.

il a dit oui=
[what i know made your day. i'm so happy for you! yay. okay. this is dumb]







♥ ♥

it's stuck in my head.

Go on and close the curtains
All we need is candlelight
You and me and a bottle of wine
Going to hold you tonight

We know I'm going away
How I wish....wish it weren't so
Take this wine & drink with me
Let's delay our misery

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

There's a log on the fire
And it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire
To take me away....it's true
It ain't easy to say goodbye
Darling please don't start to cry
'Cause girl you know I've got to go
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Tuesday, April 7

Happiness


[I've got only minor problems, small obstacles, tiny annoyances right now.]
They're overshadowed by happiness.

One day of school left, and then I can make the most of a brief vacation from school.
Sleep, study, refresh, enjoy.

One month, in actuality, of the semester remains. I'm surviving.

One great past weekend that I'm liking to look back upon, because I smiled a lot. ♥

One wonderful boyfriend who likes to impress me, make me happy, and adore me. I am feeling quite lucky lately, let me just say.
It's only Prom, but he made me feel like the most special person alive. [with flowers and all!]
: }





Sunday, April 5

First.

because i'd never done it before.

i don't remember whose idea it was in the beginning, but there we were, ending up in the faculty parking lot behind the classrooms, kickin' rocks on the gravel & talkin' about how the lichen grows in the cracks, while prepping for AP Biology.
we were both a little sleep deprived, and anxious to take a chance and do something differently. 
there was us- the muslim girl & the one who subscribes to the agnostic category of belief. not disrespecting the Jesus Christ worshipping, but just getting away this time. 

i didn't regret it for a second. 
and it made me smile- when i asked you & expected a "no," for you to look at me and immediately say a firm "yes."

friday...and you said it was blogworthy. 
: }


Thursday, April 2

Molecular systematics illuminates prokaryotic phylogeny.

Today,
I got a lovely surprise from that wonderful boyfriend/best friend of mine. [Thanks, Sean!]
It only took me forever to decipher the meaning. ツ 

Also, my friend Hedieh received news of her acceptance into a medical research program this summer at Stanford. [Congratulations, by the way, I didn't get to say that to you amidst the screaming and excitement!] Ms. Lewis' reaction is legendary now, I think. I have never seen someone so excited about anything in my entire life! Haha, it was great.

Currently, I am pondering the phrase "molecular systematics is illuminating prokaryotic phylogeny" and stressing over other AP Bio assignments. Keep your fingers crossed. 

[weekend, come as quickly and easily as possible, please.]

That's all I have right now. 
Wish hard, speak kindly.