A little bit of clarity.

Everyone who reads this is (hopefully) my friend, so I wanted to clear things up about the strange changes in my relationship status over the past couple of days. I know this may not be okay with the boyfriend, but I'm proceeding. 

I never wanted to be the kind of girl, or the have the kind of relationship, where breaking up was something to be taken lightly. It is. I am deeply apologetic. I take my long-term relationship seriously, not to the point where it interferes with other things in my life, but so that it is relatively happy and stable. I know it hasn't seemed like that. I take all of the blame- I make mistakes, and treating someone who loves me in the manner that I did was completely uncalled for and immature.

I keep little thoughts secret in my mind and repress them until they become huge, weighty problems. That in itself is probably worse than the problems! I mess up, I screw up. The underlying message is that I'm sorry. And I hope I can redeem my drama-free image soon.

"It was a nice time, but a sad time."

The casket was lavender.

The flowers were roses.

We cried too much.

It stuffed up our noses.

I wanted to stop;

I'm too sentimental.

But all they talked about

Was how she was nonjudgmental.

It wasn't too sad, it was even nice,

I saw my mom humbled.

I cried but I'm fine.

My thoughts were jumbled.

Unrelated.

I have two new posts to write. They are both very different and completely unrelated, but I need to write both of them tonight.

I guess this is just a disclaimer? Random thoughts ahead.

I was (even more) wrong.

A while ago, I published a blog post entitled "I was wrong." 

This is a follow-up post. I was even more, devastatingly wrong. I will not make judgments ever again. (Come on, would anyone believe that?) However, I sincerely feel smaller. I am diminished my mistakes, in the best possible way. I think that when I see people, I only see a small part of who they are. I'd like to say that I'm an excellent judge of character, but I'm not. In fact, few people probably are more confused at times than I am. There is my downfall- I have things that I waste, I contemplate too much, I have stereotypes ingrained into my mind from- where?- maybe society. I don't know. I wish I could be different...No. I am different. I resolve to be.

A photograph...

"A photograph is a secret about a secret. 

The more it tells you, the less you know." 

-Diane Arbus

I will post photos on my blog very soon. Voy a mostrar mis fotos en Blogspot muy pronto.

Busy.

I'm busy these days. Well, actually, most of the time. It's nothing new. I have school work, swimming, yearbook duties, Artemis things, volunteering, chores at home, and club things.

My dad told me that I burn the candle at both ends, as the saying goes. Then, he said, I break that candle in half and start burning all four ends. 

He didn't say what happened after that, but I know. I burn out. I hope that this weekend will give me an opportunity to catch up on much-needed priority items, as well as just relaxation. It must.

It's hard to help some people...

...when you have no idea how.
I wish I could be a better friend to her. I wished for that, but it's not so easy. Not through (hardly) any fault of her own, but merely the reality of our lives. If I should ever have an experience similar to hers, I hope that I embrace it more.


I'm going to try.