Haha.
In all seriousness, there was this one encounter on campus that put the worry back in my mind after the initial excitement hit me. While at orientation one day, some of the other first-years and I were hanging out in the lounge outside the computer lab. We were acting like such freshmen, which is okay, because we are. We were talking excitedly about classes and the interesting ones we wanted to take and how clever we were for getting our schedules lined up. There was an upperclassmen sitting there listening to us who interjected, "You guys are freshmen, right?" It wasn't condescending the way he said it, but we could tell something had led him to that conclusion (besides our painfully distinguishing drawstring backpacks). "How did you know?" we asked. "Because," he replied, "you all are happy about your classes. I just got back from class and I want to shoot myself." While I didn't take this as a genuine suicide threat or anything, he said it pretty seriously. I just don't want to dread the academics (or any aspect of college) for that matter as much as he seemed to. That's why we are there.
I know I haven't started classes yet or even moved in, but I still am heavily anticipating this first quarter and this first year. Heck, I'm anticipating the first day. I've started to have dreams about move-in day, those telltale dreams which signify my inner hopes and fears, the dreams at night that signal to me what is on my subconscious mind the most right now. I hope I wake up from it all knowing I am in the same position as all of my peers, with the competency to deal with the new kind of challenges I will have. It's all I have. And I will enjoy this and never forget.
A lot of the times those "shoot yourself courses" are general education classes haha. But seriously I wouldn't think too much of that experience . I know classes can be tough and I know classes can seem like a downer sometimes, but really as cliche as it sounds you'll look back and see how good it was. Hopefully you'll look back sooner rather than later.
ReplyDeleteJust a tip from a college sophomore :)
P.S. A lot of your classes will be fun! And when you get to you major classes they'll be fun AND something you're interested in.
Not to sound like a total baby but... I've been shedding occasional tears these past few days... from feeling like I'm leaving Haleh not having done my sisterly duties well enough, to worrying about academics in college, to leaving my mother lonely and more stressed. But... I know everything will fall into place :) and I know that you, too, know this.
ReplyDeleteP.S. there's the site called uloop and I found carpools from SD to LA on there. woo!