My first reaction upon hearing what had happened was, "let me tear out that poem about her, rip it up-- because I don't mean it." I was so angry at my mom, but I think I need to accept the way my life is (and has always been). I kind of hate that feeling, because it seems so passive and weak, but I think it's just about having that serenity.
Oh, gosh, my parents could learn a thing or two about raising children. Oh well.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
If my parents TRULY knew me, I think they'd either be slightly horrified, OR really really amazed and relieved. I think I'm a good person. I do things right sometimes. I struggle, fail a little bit, but that's normal right?
Sean loaned me a book about fighting against low expectations. I like a lot. I want to constantly defy society's low expectations of me as a teenager, but simultaneously I'm trying to deal with my parents' overly high expectations of me. So it's a paradox, and I don't think it's supposed to be easy.
Rei loaned me a book about...a kiss, love, society, culture, sex, religion....a lot of topics! Haha, but really it's brief and beautiful and I'm enjoying it also.
So thank you, to both of you.
Oh yeah-- SUMMER!!!!
[tomorrow officially.]
I'm glad you like the book. I hope that everything with your mom gets better. I understand your frustration. At least you kept your cool and you didn't post an angery blog. I also enjoyed you post with all the pictures. Good stuff :-)
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