Something

Something happy. Something new.

I've borrowed a lot of feelings from you.

When I'm lazy, I'm bored.

When bored, I get sad.

But when I'm busy, I feel accomplished.

And when I get things done, I have meaning.

When I have meaning in my life, I am happy again.

Yet...when I'm busy, I become stressed.

When I'm overly stressed, I turn to laziness once more.

Fix?

Reconnaissance

I've been thinking about it, and I've had a lot of fun this summer. I no longer feel like I belong in high school. Hopefully, I will feel at ease come September 20. The deadline is drawing closer and closer; days are ticking by. 

Summer Adventures:

• Celebrating Virginia's birthday in Avila Beach
  
• Leading the cadet unit with Rachel at Toro
  
• Everything else Toro related, such as avoiding wild boars
  
• Staying at Rachel's house for a week, and working at Henry Cowell
  
• Santa Cruz
  
• Checking off items from our summer to-do list with Sean
  
• Trying to learn how to surf
• Taking lots of photographs
• Artemis! The grand adventure of 2010
• Bonfires and beach time
• Going to the Boardwalk with the Culliwoods
• Exploring Yosemite with Zoe and surviving it
• Attending summer orientation, running around the UCLA campus in the middle of the night
• To be continued...

The saddest thing I've witnessed.

The sisters were sitting in the back.

Side by side, together.

As her body was lowered down,

Down where we couldn't see, 

They wept and wailed.

I heard their sobs over the silence.

It was a slow moment,

Yet an abrupt end.

I'm back.

Camp was...a wonderful experience.

August is turning out to be a busy month.

I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to be a part of the Artemis program. Not only was I a part of it, I helped begin it. It's a great source of pride in my life. I just feel it is an accomplishment that is beyond anything else I've ever done. Especially as a teenager, this was a rare chance. I did it. For five years, it was a increasingly significant part of my life. Without ALTA and Camp Artemis I know I would be a very different person. Naturally, I was sad about this all ending. I knew all my friendships would continue and I would always remain loyal to the program and return, but I cried because it was another marker signifying the end of something for me. It was intensely personal, but overall I'm just very happy. I didn't really cry at graduation or the end of senior year, but I did at our tri-phase campfire and at the staff campfire on the very last night. I'm so grateful. This was special. I'm forever in love with camp.

This is the last week.

The last week I'll get to be a true Artemis youth staff member. Camp has finally arrived. [Finally? It went by so quickly.]

Stay tuned.

I want to show Spreckels to the world.

Truth About Fear

I'll admit, I'm slightly afraid to tell people how I feel. I don't like putting stuff out there for people to judge me or even know me. With people I really trust, it's easier, of course. But, you might say, what about your blog? What about those life-changing friends and experiences you talk about?

It's true that I have opened up a lot. Still, once an introvert, always an introvert. I express myself totally in private writing, but continue to post blogs with symbols and quotes. I draw little cryptic sketches. I'm happy that I have people in who I can really confide. Although sometimes I truly love company, I enjoy walking by myself. I used to like photographing people but now I prefer trees and tire swings and interesting landscapes. For reasons I can't blog about, I also take pictures of Chevrolet Tahoes.

So I'm happy. And I have one piece of advice. If you want to reread a book you liked, read it again. Who's stopping you?